Tiny House

Recently while watching an old KU game, I saw a commercial from a few years ago that frankly one of the biggest teases of my life. It looked like a trailer for a new reality show, but boy was I wrong. It started off with a recently married couple who went to live in a tiny house for a year, hence the name of the reality show, Tiny House.

The first few scenes showed the couple having a few laughs as they adjusted to these tiny living quarters. "This is pretty awesome," the guy said. But their enthusiasm quickly gave way to angst as they continually bump their heads, fell out of bed, and struggle to make omelets.

It wasn't until the end of the commercial when I had to air my disgust at being made to play the fool. Here I was, ready to enjoy one of the most creative and refreshing reality shows to come down the pike in some time, and I had the rug pulled from underneath me. I never felt so betrayed in my life. It was really a fucking insurance company commercial for Geico. They have made a few like this where you are led to believe you are watching something else, but it is really a plug for car insurance. I don't know how they think they can get away with this. I know I for one will never use their company now because of their tomfoolery and utter disregard for human emotion.

Damn you Geico for ruining my life. To this day I still want to see this show made. I had such high hopes.

Doncha Wanna Fanta?

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Golf Round (Not Interesting, Trust Me)

By popular demand, here is the shot-by-shot account of my golf round today. Waveland Golf Course, Blue Tees, 6:30 pm tee time:

1) Hooked my drive into the 18th fairway. Had about 200 left to the green with a downhill lie. I hit a 4 iron but it knicked the tree I was trying to play over. I had 60 yards left in the fairway for my third. Hit a half sand wedge into the wind to a back pin to 3 feet. Made the putt for par.

2) Hit a 9 iron to about 15 feet from about 155yds to a front pin with a slight tailwind. Made the downhill putt for birdie.

3) Hit a 4 iron off the tee to keep out of the trees. It was about 15 yards short of the fairway. Overdrew my next shot, 6-iron, into the creek that runs to the right of the fairway. Dropped for my third. Fourth shot was a 4 iron into the wind from about 190, just over the green. Fifth shot was a flop shot to about 8 feet. Made the putt for bogie.

4) Pushed my 3 wood tee shot slightly so the ball did not take the slope down to the flat level. I had 155 to the pin, and hit an 8 iron to about 6 feet. Missed the putt, tapped in for par. I still don't know how the putt broke up the hill for the last foot.

5) Pushed my drive into the right rough, but still only 85 yards away or so. Overhanging tree limbs caused me to play a low shot. I hit a half PW just short of the green. Hit a poor chip for my fourth and had 15 feet or so for par. Missed the putt, but made the tap-in for bogie.

6) Hit my drive down the left side to about 85 yards away from the green. Hit a sand wedge to the back pin a bit too long and it ended on the back fringe about 20 feet away from the hole. Two-putted for my par.

7) Hit an awful drive on the short par five, blocking it into the right rough. Shaped a 6 iron left to right for my second to about 70 yards away. Hit a sand wedge to about 15 feet to the front pin. Left the putt short. Tapped in for par.

8) Hit a 5 iron from 185 to the left side of the green, but the pin was on the right. 3-putted from about 60 feet for bogie.

9) Hit my 3 wood down the right side, but it stopped on a severe sideslope about 140 yards from the green. I hit a real easy 7 iron to the back pin, just to keep my balance on the shot and keep from overswinging. The shot ended up about 25 feet short of the pin. Hit a weak first putt, leaving it 6 feet short up the steep slope. Made the 6 footer for my par.

So the final score was 2 over par, 38.

Movie Talkers

So I went to see The Da Vinci Code with my dad the other day. The first mistake was seeing the movie at the Copper Creek (theater) Day Care. This theater is notorious for having swarms of kids run in and out of different movies watching 10 minutes of each one. They talk on their cell phones, play games with their other teenage friends, and pretty much annoy the whole theater.

Also, people like to take their newborn babies to 11 oclock movies, like when I went to see Star Wars there, and there was a 6 month old baby crying his eyes out as I was trying to watch Obi Wan do his thing. As annoying as all that was, Copper Creek went down yet another notch in my book for having these fat fucktards sit directly behind us during the movie. The man was probably 300 lbs and was caughing up plegm every 3 minutes. I even had to check the back of my neck once as I thought I felt a mist in the air. His girlfriend/wife was even more annoying. This fucking broad decided to talk through the entire movie with her expert commentary. This lady must have had the mind of a 5 year old because all she could say was "OH MY GOD!", "OH NO!", "WATCH OUT" at every twist and turn. I was so close to going George Costanza on her and telling her to shut her yapper, but I knew this bitch was so dense, it would not have even fazed her. I really don't even think she knew she was doing it. She thought she was at home on her couch with her 300 lb teddy bear.

And it wasn't just that the comments never stopped, it was that they came when absolutely nothing interesting was happening! Tom Hanks gets out of his car...."Oh my God...", Tom stubbs his toe..."Oh my God..." It became so laughable after a while that I just said screw it, there is nothing I can do here. So my dad and I decided to add our own commentary on top of theirs. I spouted no less than 30 Oh my Gods during the last half hour of the movie. I don't even think this lady knew I was mocking her because she went right on with her reactions. I had really never experienced anything like that in a theater before and it really was more like a Saturday Night Live skit than something that was actually happening. I had to burst out laughing a few times at the absurdity of some of this stuff she was doing.

So finally the movie ended and I got up, turned around, and flashed the lady a nice toothy grin and went on my way.