Move Over Football and Basketball

A few months ago I was able to rediscover one of my favorite past times after a long absense. On my trip to Worlds of Fun last summer i was so pleasantly distracted from the nausia endusing rides by one of the greatest games ever invented....skeeball. Now, I know you all probably skoff and smirk at this notion, but let me take a moment to remind you about the wonders that accompany this game. Skeeball, in fact, is as old as time. Not many know that skeeball was one of the first Olympic sports. Thats why the Olympic symbol has 5 rings. They all represent the cylinders from a skeeball game board. Also, the Incas and Mayans held skeeball contests where the losers were stoned. After the conclusion of a rousing contest, the victor would bludgeon the poor loser to death with the balls. This was serious business folks.

It takes an incredible amount of deft touch to be able to fling that wooden ball into the 1000 point cylinder. I know it took me quite a while to be able to regain just the right amount of english to be able to convert the attempt.

It is also a game of great gambles. Sitting all alone on the sides of the game are the 1000 point cylinders. Now if you try for these and miss you are giving up a whole mess of points. You will only be awared 100 points for a failed attempt. A conservative player can play towards the center of the board and get more guaranteed points, but also never maximize their score to its highest potential. Personally, I prefer to take the Kenny Rogers route and go for broke and the big points. After a few consecutive successful attempts, I then take it down a notch and go for some 400's and 500's like any sensible person would. Thankfully, my strategy paid off at Worlds of Fun as I was able to obtain enough tickets to be able to swap them for a stuffed animal.

Since my love for this magical games was rekindled, I have recently entertained the thought of building my own skeeball machine. It would take a lot of work, but it would definately be worth it. To be able to hop up from bed and rocket off some skeeballs before my morning coffee would be priceless. I'm sure my neighbors would be lining up to try their hand at the game that will soon be sweeping the nation. I'm hoping to lead that skeeball revolution personally. When I open up my sports bar I will definately be including a skeeball machine or two for some heated competition.

Hopefully ESPN starts picking up skeeball tournaments to air, since they are now showing mini golf, spelling bees, and dominoes. If people watch those things, certainly they would tune in to watch the drama and prestige that skeeball presents. If ESPN does not have the foresight to put skeeball on the air, perhaps they can put it on their sister station ESPN8, "The Ocho".

My wish is that soon everywhere children across the United States hang up their kleats, retire their basketball jerseys, and put the baseball glove in the garage. I will be there to hand them a half dozen balls and show them just a little glimpse of the good life my friends.