No Cure for this Cold

As the harsh chill of winter fastly approaches I once again realize that I have the luxury of being able to predict the approximate outside temperature simply by listening to the most accurate weatherman i know, my Jeep Cherokee.

All I have to do is listen closely to how the engine purrs to me, and I become Punxatawny Phil. I can accurately predict within 2 degrees simply by feeling how long it takes my body temperature to rise back to my comfortable 98.6 from my frigid beginnings when entering the vehicle.

The first thing you must understand about my jeep is that it is old, rickety, and has more cracks and openings than a brothel. Heat leaks out of this thing like water would from a puncture in the Hoover Dam. I have to constantly have the heat on high, which starts off at around 42 degrees just to try and get this thing at normal room temperature. And the vent air rises in temperate about 2 degrees a minute, so you can imagine it takes quite a while to produce enough heat to be able to warm up that glacier wannabe. A popsicle in Alaska would warm up faster than my car. I'm thinking of keeping a blanket in my car to put over my legs so that I can keep my legs from falling off from hypothermia. I think it may be my only hope this winter.

The scale is as follows:

-If it takes me the duration of my drive to work in order to get my body to stop shaking, then it is definately under 15 degrees.

-If it takes more than 3 seconds to ignite the car, then it is under 25 degrees.

-If the sound when the door opens is a louder squeak than a family of mice all under a spring loaded trap then it is between 11 and 16 degrees.

-If my trusty 4-wheeled friend refuses to start, then it is under 5 degrees.

-If the battery is the reason it is not starting, then it's Tuesday.

-and lastly, if get trapped in the car with a frozen shut door, then who cares how cold it is, I will probably just end up dying.

It may be time to invest in a new mode of transporation, but it will be tough to say goodbye to such a trusted comrade. Hopefully I can make it through this winter with all my extremities intact, and can make enough money to buy a car that doesn't make my fingers numb simply at the touch of the steering wheel.