Safety Second

I realize that in today's fast paced society one does not have the time to complete all of the day's monotonous tasks all by their lonesome. So certain times a person must be able to juggle a few of these at a time in order to save a few of the precious minutes of the day.

I see a lot of these combinations applied when driving an automobile and it is beginning to scare me. I can tolerate people talking on their cell phones while driving, eating a cheeseburger, or even watching their dashboard dvd players. But today I witnessed the coup de grace when it comes to vehicle multitasking. A young girl, no older than 18 years old, was driving the steering wheel with her knees and using both of her free hands to operate a eyelash curler, all the while leaning forward peering into her rearview mirror for reinforcement. I frankly could not believe my own uncurled eyes when I saw this. Here I was driving down I-80 at a 70 mph clip, all the while driving next to a chick paying more attention to her own shapliness than the very road in which we were sharing.

What is so important about curling eyelashes that she couldn't wait until she was in the comfort of her own home? My life could have been hanging in the balance with one unfortunately placed pothole or obstacle in her lane. She could have swerved me off the road and my whole body could have ended up spiraled like a Taco Bell cinnamon twist. Now thats a curl she would have been green with envy over.

Here I thought I was doing a pretty darn good job when i could brush my teeth and put on my pants at the same time. This girl was turning her car into a beauty salon. Maybe next time she could put rollers in her hair and start filing away at her toenails and have the little cotton swabs in between the toes to complete the treatment that she apparently immediately needed.

It just seems everyday I lose more and more faith in humanity.