Do you know how old I am?

Have you ever noticed how senior citizens like to advertise their age at any possible moment? It's almost as if it's their badge of honor and they love to flaunt it. I deal with this almost everyday at my job and it gives me a nice chuckle everytime I hear it.

Old people use their age as their most valid excuse for any problem. When I call them up on the phone first off they have no idea what is up from down. I have to spend ten minutes just explaining the problem. At which point they usually say, "now see here sonny, I am 86 years old and I don't have to listen to this." Being over 70 apparently excludes you from any responisibilty in your life. I actually talked to a woman who was 94 and she hadn't paid her bill in 5 months. "I don't have to pay, I'm 94 years old! I'm gonna be dying soon anyway so what do I care?" I just laugh and let them know that I really don't care and they have made my day more joyous from being able to laugh at the swashbuckling attitude.

I just can't wait until I get to that age in my life. I just want to be the most crotchety old man you can think of. I just want to sit around the porch and tell stories of the olden days all the while sipping some crystal light. I will never let a moment go by where I don't tell someone that I am 76 and damn proud of it. Because when you are that old you can pretty much get away with anything. You can steal, lie, pinch women's asses and never be punished because hey, you are old. It's pretty much a licence to do whatever you want as long as you state your age immediately after the action. Move over Wilford Brimley, I'm comin your way in about 50 years.