zzzzz

As I finish up my turkey dinner this Thanksgiving day I am reminded of my everlasting quest to get the perfect night of sleep. In fact, I am nodding off even as I write this. No matter how hard i try I can never get the right amount. I spend all my time during the day longing for a pillow to rest my weary eyes. I am constantly tired no matter what happened the night before so I am starting to think I am destined to be a daytime zombie.

If I get a short night sleep I predictably spend the following day in a groggly haze. Sitting a desk stationary all day doesn't help the cause, let me tell you. I spend each passing hour at my job pining for a quick moment to attempted to awaken my lethargic body.

If I sleep too long I suffer the same fate. I am starting to think maybe I should follow the Cosmo Kramer school of thought when it comes to resting. I think I will try to sleep 40 minutes every 2 hours. It might electroshock my body back into coherance. Plus, it would free up so many of those nighttime hours that I rarely have the pleasure of enjoying. Hopefullly that works, but Wells Fargo might not be too fond of me hiding a hammock under my desk for those precious 40 minutes. Maybe I am just doomed to fall victim to chronic fatigue forever.

Still Good, Still Good

What is it about eating popcorn and other treats that makes people turn into savages? I'd like to share an experiecne I had recently that speaks the weakness humans suffer when it comes to eating sweets.

As I sat in the Jordan Creek theater waiting for my moviefilm to begin, I was treated to a nice show before the show. This not-so-svelte looking young man was devouring his large bucket of popcorn not 15 feet from me. It wasn't just that he was stuffing his face with Iowa's favorite crop, but he was eating more off of his shirt than from the bag itself. His chest and lap were basically his dinnerplate. Inbetween every crease and crevasse of his shirt he found another piece that was hiding from his famished mouth. He would leave no kernal uneaten. Watching this kid pick through his shirt was like watching monkeys at the zoo clean each other for ticks. He looked high and low for every elusive piece that may have dropped between his grubby fingers.

Then the capper. He picked up pieces of dropped popcorn from the theater floor and proceeded to eat them. I have actually seen this take places many other times, so I cannot blame only this young man for enrolling in the dirty dining club by himself. Countless times I have seen people pick up fallen popcorn on carpets, counters, and hardwood floors only to shove them in their pieholes unabashed. Now granted, when popcorn lies stationary, only a small portion of it is actually touching the ground, but that does not make it right to consume tainted food. I have also seen this kind of spectacle with other kinds of candy. Any M&M, Reece's, Rolos or other chocolate treats that hit the ground are still fair game apparently. What makes these kind of treats so much different that other foods? You don't see people dropping a fork full of Salisbury Steak on their tile and scooping it right back up to their face. I guess the human weakness for sweets really changes matters and turns us into savage beasts. I hope these people enjoy bacteria with their Baby Ruths because that's what they are getting. I guess we are no better than animals when it comes to feeding our inner desire for goodies.