I thought America's favorite neighbor was Canada

Tonight after being at the hospital for a few hours to see my new baby neice, the fam decided to go out to Applebees for some neighboorhood eatin good. If you ask me this place has turned into a dump. They have totally fucked up their menu royally. All my favorites have been taken away from me. Granted I have not been there in a long while, and if tonight was any indication it will be another coons age before I go back. How in the name of Zeus' butthole could they take away the blackened chicken fettucini? I must have combed that menu a good baker's dozen times but no fettucini to ease my hunger. I had to settle for a panini that tasted like it's been thrown in the air and landed in Horatio Sanz' underpants. I've seen Todd Morgan make better paninis that had been sitting under the heat lamp for a few hours. This actually wasn't the worst panini I've ever had though. That title belongs to the new frozen panini put out by Lean Cuisine. I tried one of these on my break at work and I about spewed in my lap. I tried to make this thing in the pizza oven and it cooked about as evenly as a farmer's tan. The inside was still cold and the chicken was nasty to boot. Long story short...stay away from paninis and Applebees especially those two things combined.