Bathroom Chatters

I don't know if you all have experienced this phenomenon, but there is a large contingent of people who think it is okay to carry on a conversation while one of the parties is busy dropping off the Cosby kids at the pool in a public bathroom. I guess I'm one of the few who believe in the sanctity of the bathroom privacy rule. The person in the stall pretends that he is not actually there, and the person who walks in later minds his own business.

If this other person happens to need to use a stall as well, under no circumstances is he to use the one directly adjacent to mine. This creates a rather awkward situation for both parties I believe. If someone walks in next to me and I can see his shoes, they better be facing the opposite direction of mine. There is nothing worse than having a gallery during your moment of truth.

The other day at work after a particularly greasy lunch I had to rush into the bathroom to take care of a little business. Not thirty seconds after starting my quest, my boss walks into the bathroom and decides to strike up a conversation with me. I can deal with the usual grunts and groans that accompany a man at a urinal, but this was totally different. When you are talking to me while I'm in my office you are totally taking me out of my zone. This is supposed to be a time of reflection and concentration, not a time for conversation. I can't think of anything so urgent that it can't wait five minutes.

So he goes on and on about how he is pissed that he has to start exercising and watching his weight. I kept responding "uh huh" and "yeah". At what point of this one sided conversation do you take the hint that I am not enjoying this chat? I felt totally helpless as I waited for him to get bored and walk out. Thankfully my shortness paid off as he exited the bathroom after a few short minutes of banter.

Unfortunately, this was not a one time occurance. I have had this problem several times before. I had no idea that there were so many people that feel the need to talk to a person in the middle of using the porcelin pot. It really boggles my mind. I never would have guessed that two people could enjoy a conversation with that 800 pound elephant in the room, but apparently they can.

Hopefully shedding light on this subject will take care of some of the habitual offenders out there.